<< Return to Research published Aug 6, 2006

Practice Makes Polite

Introduction

Do you really know what semi-formal means? Do you know the appropriate way to indicate you are finished with your meal? Etiquette is defined in the American Heritage^® Dictionary as "The practices and forms prescribed by social convention or by authority." (Lexico Publishing Group, LLC, n.d.) This definition doesn't begin to describe the body of knowledge relating to etiquette and the different facets of the topic.

Many new graduates and young Americans are not interested in learning about proper etiquette nor do they see the value in this skill set. This instinct is understandable as many of the truly important occasions, where etiquette can be a determining factor, occur later in our careers and lives. The consequences of this attitude on etiquette, however, can be severe because we rarely know in advance when our etiquette is going to propel or derail our relationships, whether business or personal. Companies today place tremendous emphasis on the ability to make a great first impression over a meal and they seek to hire candidates who already know how to do this (Whitmore, 2005).

Etiquette Experts

During the summer of 2001, I was introduced to formal etiquette training by Nonnie Cameron, who is commonly referred to as "Mom Nonnie" by almost anyone who has met her. Mom Nonnie has a unique style of delivering her lessons on etiquette that capture your attention and leave you thinking about her and proper etiquette long after she holds a teaching dinner. Her effectiveness at instilling this often-overlooked art is well documented by her popularity and long list of accolades. These accolades include many corporate and university etiquette training sessions.

I met Mom Nonnie at an etiquette dinner in Richmond, Virginia and was immediately impressed. Not only with the depth of knowledge on how to indicate you are finished with your meal through the placement of silverware (this depends on whether you are in America or Europe) (Cameron, n.d.), but by how Mom Nonnie reads people so well and tailors her message to the audience. The result is usually an inspired audience that takes away a great deal of what Mom Nonnie has to share.

There is an interesting corollary between Mom Nonnie's etiquette training and leadership study in that she demonstrates extraordinary leadership with a task one might not usually associate with the subject. She seems to exhibit the M.I.C.E.E. leadership model presented by James Kouzes and Barry Posner (2002) without even thinking about it. Mom Nonnie particularly excels at
enabling others to act and encouraging the heart. She enables others to act with the depth of knowledge on her craft and how she makes herself available to everyone. Mom Nonnie's bulletin board, on her Etiquette Plus website, receives a steady stream of broad etiquette questions for which she
always has an elegant answer (Cameron, n.d.).